I had to discontinue my study during the
junior high school because of poverty, even though I was anxious to study
more. Instead, I had to work hard to support my brother-in-laws
Crisis in health
I was four months pregnant with my third
baby. While I was doing housework, carrying my second baby on my back,
there was some bleeding. I went to a gynecologist, who said that the baby
in my womb was dead and that I needed surgery. I refused to believe that
the baby was dead. The doctor then asked my husband if he wanted me to
live or die. I was tied to the surgery table and was operated on. It was
the beginning of my sufferings.
I had a second surgery seven days later.
One day after the second surgery, I was almost dead and was moved to a
larger hospital. Three days later, I regained consciousness, but remained
in a serious condition. I tried many things to improve my health, but none
of them helped. The gynecologist said that it might help if I had another
baby. After much difficulty, I became pregnant.
Labor began in the ninth month of the
pregnancy, but the baby could not be delivered. The doctor suggested a
Caesarean operation, but my mother-in-law insisted on a natural birth. To
obey her, I continued suffering terrible pains for the next two months. My
mother could not watch me in that condition any longer and brought some
medicine from a herbal doctor. I took the medicine and delivered the baby
in the eleventh month of the pregnancy. I lost a large quantity of blood
and became unconscious.
Two weeks later, my mother-in-law came
and told me to go out and buy some rice. While I was returning home with
the rice, I found myself bleeding again. Severe pains continued through
the night, and my feet became swollen. I cried a lot when I was alone.
One day when the baby was four months
old, I was doing some laundry at a creek and, suddenly, found the baby
being swept away in the creek. I plunged into water and pulled the baby
out. Soon, I got a fever and severe pains in my belly. The doctor said
that I had appendicitis and sent me to a larger hospital in Kwangju. Test
results showed that I had inflammation in the pelvis, appendicitis,
pregnancy outside the womb, and a fever. I seemed to be nearing death. I
felt like going to the bathroom, but, instead, was taken to the operating
room, and the surgery began.
For one week after the surgery, I was
throwing up what I ate. I had trouble walking to the bathroom. Nurses
complained that I was exaggerating and kicked me on my legs. After I came
home, pains became worse.
About a month after the surgery,
something was coming out together with blood and pus from where the
surgery was done. Rosa, my eldest daughter, was crying loudly and
screamed, "Mommy! Your intestines! What should we do? Mommy! What
should we do?" We embraced each other and cried. We found out
that it was the gauze that doctors forgot to remove during the surgery.
I visited a country clinic every day.
Blood and pus continued flowing out for three months. I went back to the
larger hospital where the operation had been done. Doctors said that,
because of substantial inflammation, I needed another surgery. I refused,
because I did not have money. I continued visiting the country clinic, and
the pains continued.
The condition was worsening, and pains
were becoming unbearable. I was hospitalized again, but it was too late.
The doctor said, "We did our best. Go home and eat delicious
food." He found a widespread cancer in my body. When he tried to
show it to my husband, I was startled and stopped him. I thought I would
rather die than show the cancer to my husband.
After hearing the death sentence at the
hospital, I came home but did not give up. I did not want to dishearten my
mother who had only me to depend on since when she was 27. I struggled,
but could not even stand or sit. The parts of my body which were touching
the floor were hardening. My mother and husband took turns to massage me,
but my body was becoming colder. The blood pressure was 50 over 40. I
could not eat or drink. Because of problems in my veins, I could not even
get I.V. injections.
Despite all that, I was still alive.
Several women belonging to a Presbyterian church took me to their church
and brought me back home several times, even though I wanted to go to a
Catholic church. One day two Presbyterian women visited me and consoled
me. When they were leaving, they said to each other outside the room, "What
a pitiful woman! Life is precious, but she would be helping her family by
dying." "Thats right! Why didnt I think of
that?" I prepared cyanide and wrote seven letters to my
mother, husband, four children, and whoever might be my husbands next
Light shines at long last
As I was thinking about my father and
about to carry out the plan, my husband suddenly came home from work
earlier than usual and said, "Honey! Lets visit a Catholic
church today." So, we went to a Catholic church in Naju.
To the priest, I said, "Father!
If there really is God, He is too cruel. Why should I drink this bitter
cup (= death)? What did I do to deserve it?" I thought it was not
fair. I thought that I had lived a good life despite so many adversities.
I had helped many beggars, I had not confronted those who had hurt me . .
Then, the priest said, "Maam,
you are receiving graces through your body. Even I have not received such
graces. Believe what I say." When I heard these words from the
priest, I believed and responded by saying, "Amen." At
that moment, my body, which had been cold like a rock, was becoming hot
and I was sweating all over my body. The Holy Spirit was working in me. We
decided to become Catholics and bought several items at the Parish gift
shop. I placed a statue of the Blessed Mother and a rose on my clothes
chest and lit a candlelight. I began to pray.
On the third day, I heard the voice of
Jesus: Approach the Bible. The Bible is My living Word. I
opened the Bible immediately and was reading Luke 8:40-48. It was about a
woman who had a hemorrhage for twelve years. She had the faith that if she
touched the tassel on the Lords cloak, she would be healed. When she
touched Him and was healed immediately, Jesus said to her, "Woman,
your faith has saved you. Go in peace." There also was the story
about Jairus daughter. The Lord told Jairus, "Do not be afraid;
just have faith, and your daughter will live." Because Jairus
believed Jesus, his daughter lived again. I believed that these words were
for me also and, with a firm belief, responded with "Amen!" At
that moment, I was completely cured of the cancer and all the accompanying
I felt like running or even flying. I
began going to the Catholic church and also opened a beauty parlor. I
joined the charismatic movement and the Legio Marie. My life was filled
with joy and love.
The Lord opens the gate of Heaven
after my repentance
It was December of 1980. During an
overnight prayer meeting, the leader said, "Tonight someone will
receive special graces." I believed that it would be realized to
me also. At about 3 a.m., the leader asked people, "What do you
want?" Immediately, I prayed fervently, "Lord, I want to
grow spiritually. I want my spiritual growth." In response, the
Lord showed me extremely surprising scenes. I was so surprised that I felt
as if my body was becoming paralyzed.
What the Lord showed me was a replay of
everything that had happened in my life I was beaten numerous times by
an uncle while working in his home; I was working in a factory day and
evening every day without ever receiving pay; I was beaten up by several
women who were doing business with me, because they did not want to return
to me the money that I had invested in the business; I was mistreated many
times, because my father was not alive; and many other happenings that I
did not want to remember. I began crying bitterly, realizing that, humanly
speaking, it would have been impossible for me to have lived thus far, but
it was the Lord Who has kept me.
I also prayed for those who inflicted
pains on me: Lord, have mercy on those numerous people. They did what
they did because of me. They were Your instruments for tempering me.
Therefore, they are victims because of me. I could not help crying
wildly, because I realized that they suffered harms because of me.
"Lord! Forgive this sinner. Forgive this sinner . . ." I
kept asking for forgiveness.
While I was deeply repenting and asking
for forgiveness, the gate of Heaven suddenly opened and a bright light
poured down upon me. I also heard the following words three times: The
gate of Heaven is open. I became a very little, lowly person and
prayed anxiously, "Lord, open my heart further. Open it
Until then, I had thought that I had
lived a good life and had never made any mistake. Such pride was replaced
by a deep realization that I was the greatest sinner. My body hardened
again. I came home, supported by others. While lying down, I prayed, "Lord,
whether I live or die, I leave it to You." I offered up myself to
The Lords call to a mission
Three days later, I heard the Lords
voice again: Daughter! God has worked in His servants heart. Get
up hurriedly! I will make Myself known through you, who are unworthy.
When I heard these words, I was so
surprised that I stood up right away. I knew that I was healthy again. I
felt like flying. The Lord resurrected three days after death. He raised
me up on the third day of my illness and repentance. "Yes, Lord! I
am totally Yours. Use me according to Your Will."
For the next three years, the Lord
allowed me everything that I wanted even those things that I had in my
mind only briefly. At every moment, the Lord showed me that there was
nothing that was impossible to God.
The Lord also let me see the inside of
other peoples minds and understand the nature of others illnesses.
Because of this, I felt unbearable pains. The Lord showed me that those
who were doing the Lords work and were thinking that they were close to
Him were inflicting greater pains on Him and crucifying Him with bigger
nails. I prayed hard for them.
When Jesus was entering Jerusalem riding
a donkey, many people were welcoming Him placing palm leaves and their
clothes in front of the donkey. What if the donkey thought that people
were welcoming him instead of the Lord? What will happen to Jesus Who is
riding the donkey, if the donkey jumps up and down with joy? Yes, while we
work to make the Lord known, we can fail to be humble and think that we
are the ones who are doing the work. Then, we will make the Lord fall on
the ground. The thought that this can happen to me also sent a chill down
my spine. When I was participating in the charismatic movement, many
people liked me and made me stand in front of people. But now I wished
that I could work in humility and hiding. I prayed, "Lord, I saw
enough. Please do not show me any more. If it can be of any use for the
conversion of sinners who are crucifying the Lord, I will gladly live a
life of suffering." "Lord!, I am so unworthy, but, if it
can be of even the tiniest help to the Lords Work, I will gladly offer
up my sufferings." So, I consecrated myself and my sufferings for
the conversion of sinners.
Since that time, I received extreme
pains numerous times. Three years later, I was preparing for death again.
While I was going to the Holy Hour prayer meeting in Kwangju, I prayed, "Lord,
I am Yours, if I die. I am Yours, if I live. Your Will be done."
During the prayer meeting, I was completely healed.
Julia with Julio, her husband, in a church in Cana, Israel
(May 24, 1992)
Since then, the Lord allowed me more
sufferings and restored my health as needed. From June 30, 1985, the Lord
gave us His Mothers tears and tears of blood through her statue in our
home and, later, fragrant oil through the same statue. He also sent us
many messages that are necessary to all of us.
The Lord also revealed visible changes
in the Sacred Host and caused the descent of the Sacred Host in the Chapel
in Naju on several occasions, because so many children do not accept that
the Lord comes to us as our Food because of His Love for us. I, a sinner,
only hope and pray that all will amend their lives according to the
Blessed Mothers messages, come aboard the Marys Ark of Salvation,
and be saved. What I want for myself is to live in hiding, looking after
the deserted in the world. Glory be to the Lord alone!
Lord, my Light and my Savior! Love is
beautiful and sweet, but also is sacrifice and sweat. To make a beautiful
flower of love blossom, I want to love even the bitter cold of winter and
offer up the pains that visit me without ceasing, imitating the martyrs. I
wish to be a comforter for You like a grain of wheat that falls to the
ground and dies to bear many fruits.